Monday, July 04, 2016
Not free. Not independent.
After our monthly meeting at Marti's, I swung by Marukai in Gardena for some food. Saw the following origami sightings:
Pam called me from the healthcare center where she and Joy were visiting Yami and said Yami wanted bacon fried rice. So picked some of that up.
I worry that Yami is losing purpose and meaning. He is cordial enough; but there's a certain disengagement. I'm not the only one who notices this in attempts at conversing with him. Maybe it's just that he's tired or not in the mood for company. My own sense of it, though, is that he's in a kind of limbo without freedom, independence, or control over his life and his current environment. Instead of taking command over the things that are within his realm of control, he appears to me as though resigned to his lot; and giving in to boredom. He doesn't read, he doesn't fold, he doesn't walk around (only 30 minutes a day of forced exercise- and I'd be curious to see what that entails); he cannot figure out his phone (and embarrassingly, I can't figure out how to work it, either). He's a victim of uncontrolled visitations (hard to warn him ahead of time when you're coming for a visit when he doesn't pick up his phone). All he has is the television whose channels are controlled by his roommate (seems to be his roommate's sole stimuli as well).
Yami hasn't received a lot of mail, from what I could tell. But he has received some. But even these things seem to be of little interest to him. I almost get a sense that these, along with any origami visitors leave him, are just material burdens to him.
I'm sorry of this blogpost comes across as depressing news. I'm just a bit frustrated in not knowing how to help him. It's hard to communicate with him. But I feel like the next time I see him, I need to have a tough love talk with him to pull him out of his malaise. To get him to shake himself out of this mental and spiritual rut of whatever it is he may be experiencing.